1. |
Weary World
03:31
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don’t be sad
boy, it’s just a bad dream
turn the next slide
you might find some tasty ice cream
take care, tie your laces tight lest you fall on your face
I told you once, before twice
I see the cone fly through outer space
are you up for the task
all the mental gymnastics
from your prefrontal cortex to the base of your spine
I find myself asking why
do I fear change
that everything I love will burn away
why do I hang my head in shame when you’re not around
and when I think about myself, it just gets me down
why do I only think about myself
why so sad, boy
it’s just a bad dream
in time, I think you’ll find you can live without almost anything
trial and error
pushing me forward
this is who I am
I am golden
I am a flame
I am everything I dreamed I could be
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2. |
Interim
01:04
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2 AM, the lights are on
been kept safe for far too long
burning passage, no rite
wish upon an artificial satellite
lost my keys, lost my train of thought
so I smoke these cigarettes and I’m not gonna stop
I left my posters on the wall
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3. |
Sapped
03:47
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I think too much or not enough
and all the ones you thought that gave a fuck
drifting away or fading out
another friend you lost into the crowd of angry faces and anxious voices
it’s too late to stop it now
they all had warned you: it was inevitable
they all had warned you: it’s all part of growing up
brother, where did you go
brother, what will it take for you give this up or walk away
when you blame everyone except yourself
you know you’ve really done it now
I thought too much or not enough
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4. |
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I’m prepared to murder and maim anything within arm's length
watch me swing away as I preach eternal grace
and if you can’t believe, then I’ll drag you down to hell with me
he is risen indeed getting off on this kind of thing
and Cronenberg sings me to sleep
so insecure about my own sexuality
that no one can be happy or have anything
why would anyone care where you leave your leavings
it’s just a sad plot to deny your pride that remains
what really scares me is nobody screaming
what really scares me is this new normality
what really scares me has reached a new ceiling
and Cronenberg sings me to sleep
so terrified of anyone that doesn’t look like me
spurred into a frenzy by fuckyou fake news and TV
if you can cover your eyes, stay quiet this time, you might survive the night
if you can live with yourself knowing you never felt a goddamn drop of empathy
he is risen indeed getting off on this kind of thing
and Cronenberg sings me to sleep
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5. |
Sell It to Your Friends
06:15
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tend to crude my psyche
dilute the subtle thoughts between myself and everyone here
confidence is best when shared
bemused at the thought
it’s always the deprived
the deprived making art to reconcile their lives
’til someone sells it back
oh the irony in this
your venting is trend
a market to be spent
so sell it to your friends
cause they can all relate to the lies they’ve been given
these voices in my head
so turn off the lights
fuck the rules then we all just fight
we hate the rules so we balk, joke, and get out of line
unless there’s something I’m forgetting, you should tell me one more time
I’m at fault to feel so wasted
your lips, the worst I ever tasted
I will be delivered, ’til then I live the lie
sweat dripping from an empty palm
last I checked I owed you nothing at all
I hate that it affects me so
I pound my chest
I am man
dodging your call
satirical we all are
notepad by the side of the phone
blank but every single four letter word that I know
you only hurt the ones you love the most
love is grand but when it hurts, it’s the worst thing you’ve ever known
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6. |
Deep End
00:41
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can’t distinguish my hands from mashing them against a wooden post
I’m not one to bother anyone
only inanimate
the brute just contradicts
smashing the door, he’s only harming himself
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7. |
Too Soft
02:14
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8. |
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look at all the promises I’ve kept
it’s a shorter list than you might expect
well I’ve been lying to you this whole time
in the end, there’s nothing happy to find
so leave me to bake in the sun
drop me in the desert when you’re done
scoop out my eyes with a spoon
you can throw ‘em at the stars and the moon
smile as sweet as homemade pie
your eyes shine when you look up at the sky
but I’m as stubborn as you, even more
I should’ve warned you when I opened up the door
do my deeds go up into the sky
or like everything else, it just sinks and dies
is my love a hope or a sin
can I gather all the pieces scattered by the wind
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9. |
Good Grief
03:54
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let’s hold hands and wander through the forest green
fall asleep and dream about the beautiful candied things
you wake up and run straight into the river
I’ll hold your arms and legs as you start to shiver
slow your breathing
let the sun warm you in its path
to the end of the earth and found our way back
we made it out of the woods but we’re not home yet
you talk about our demons to scoff and laugh
we fought ‘em before and they never won
it’s all just fun and games
I would never let them harm us
it's all just fun and games ‘til someone loses an eye
striking out into the dark ‘til we’re all blind
we fought for so long to keep the spark alive
it's all fun and games until the fire dies
let’s go back to a solemn age
missed calls on a holiday
I’d never known the feels that unfurled
we shared an axe and we passed a smoke
had each other but were losing hope
you lead me to my place in this world
the waves crash into the pier like they did last christmas day
there’s grief shown in the way the tides breathe
it’s been almost a thousand weeks
I can hear it in the way she speaks
your mother’s never worn a color since your leave
there are records that we never made though I hear ‘em in the way I ache
I wish they were, alas, it’s too late
you never told us you were moving on
the old times are dead and gone
you always had a place in this world
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10. |
Accidental Cuts
02:55
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it stems from friends
kids themselves
leaving scars
accidental cuts
could’ve been better to someone who never knew how to nurture another
easier to blame the other when you’re just as bothersome to somebody else
notice the trouble you’re causing
way too damn comfortable inside yourself
easier to blame the other when you’re so uncomfortable outside yourself
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11. |
So Long, Kiddo
05:39
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if I can’t take you with me
then I’ll grab the sand at your feet
I won’t go home until you are free
not out of the blue, but surprising when I got that phone call
I’m outside
I’ll be here all night
and they keep saying, “not all is lost / don’t give up hope”
your heart swells ‘til it bursts from the inside
all too real, I look away behind my eyes when I can’t fall asleep
I retreat, close the door
I feel everything
I saw your breath against the glass
I know you were waiting
just calm down, I’ll be there soon
and when he comes up to your door, I know you will let him in
it’s just a bad dream, won’t you wake up
I saw your breath against the glass
I know you weren’t waiting
it’s okay to let go
for me to know what was what
I’ve had enough of the good times
let the good times rot
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Slugger Santa Rosa, California
A band of brothers, lives in progress, pain anger and joy on full display.
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